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Bedtime routines are an opportunity for self-care and honoring your needs.

Black woman lying in bed, smiling.
Photo credit: CreateHER Stock

If you want to have a great day, it actually starts the night before. Your bedtime routine is just as powerful as your morning routine. 

Bedtime is usually the part of the day we all look forward to the most, especially after a particularly long day. We usually go to bed exhausted and hoping for a better day, only to start the next day with the same rushed routine and anxious thoughts.

It’s a cycle that can be stopped—but you have to be intentional about it. If you’ve been following along with my mama wellness series, these days you’re starting your day with a meditation flow and making sure to do a mid-day check in to reaffirm your yes. 

So, what can you do to keep the momentum going when it’s time to rest?

Let Your Subconscious Be Your Guide

Before I go into some actual things to do before bedtime, here’s some context as to what’s happening in our brains as we sleep. 

As we drift to sleep, our awareness, known as the conscious mind, turns off. But the subconscious mind never ever, ever, ever shuts down. Even when we go to sleep, our subconscious is working through those things that “keep us up at night”—the items still left on the to-do list, the conversations you haven’t had, the fears that haven’t been addressed… Almost every choice you make daily is made not by your conscious mind, but by your subconscious programming.

Having a bedtime routine sets yourself up for success.

Most of us go to bed worried, anxious, depressed, and/or afraid, only to rise in the morning with those same feelings because of unsettled feelings in our subconscious. As I write in my book The Soil Is Good, “The subconscious mind is the part of the mind that … creates what you imagine. It never judges, It never disappoints. It simply does what it is told.” What if we used our subconscious to work for us instead of against us? It’s an opportunity to give the subconscious mind an assignment, as opposed to feeling helpless and continuing a perpetual cycle of powerlessness. 

Give yourself 20-30 minutes before bedtime to activate your subconscious mind for your benefit. Keep in mind that repetition is key. The more consistent you are, the more you will see results, just like with physical exercise.

  • Take a few slow, deep breaths to slow down your heart rate. Lowering your heart rate helps your body relax, according to WebMD.
  • Decide what time you want to get up. Making a decision helps to keep you accountable. Honoring your decision makes you feel good—and that “feel good” feeling makes you want to repeat the behavior.
  • Plan your day the night before. You’ll feel organized and better able to stay on task and manage your time.
  • Review your goals. You can read them out loud or look at your vision board before bed. 
  • Right before you close your eyes, write down or say five things you are grateful for from your day. Going to sleep in this state of gratitude translates to a better mood in the morning. Be grateful for everything that you have.
  • Ask your subconscious mind for the answers. Give it a request. Remember, the subconscious mind is wide awake. 

Having a bedtime routine sets yourself up for success. Use this time to impress upon the subconscious what you desire for yourself. You want to give the subconscious mind a visual that serves your mission. Give the mind a purpose and it will accomplish your will.

Sweet dreams!

Hear Tori talk more about making time for you in the video below.

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Tori J. Jones is a mom, entrepreneur, songwriter and author. Tori also has a passion for helping moms stay connected and accountable to their YES! She helps guide and support moms in ways that allow them to navigate from clutter to clarity—and from uncertainty to the START—as an accountability coach. You can book a 20-minute clarity call with her and follow her on Instagram.


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