Tracee Ellis Ross—every woman’s bestie, even if only in our minds—recently talked with HuffPost Rise about self-love. During that conversation, she brought up a quote from Pema Chödrön—a Buddhist teacher, author, nun and mother—that changed the direction of her life.
“Right now, can you make an unconditional relationship with yourself? Just at the height you are, the weight you are, with the intelligence that you have and your current burden of pain. Can you enter into an unconditional relationship with that?”
Making the choice to enter an unconditional relationship with ourselves is often the first step that many of us must take on our journey through self-love. And while making that initial decision is crucial, it’s also important that we affirm and support that choice in the way that we treat and talk to ourselves. We have to learn to become our own best friends.
Many of us speak to ourselves in ways that we would never dream of speaking to those we love and care about. When a friend brings a problem to us, or is faced with a challenge, or even makes a mistake, we are there to offer advice and support. When they come to us with their triumphs and success stories, we’re there to celebrate them, encourage them, and support them. We have to learn to do the same things with ourselves. One of the easiest ways to begin that process is through the use of affirmations. The mind-body connection is strong. Taking a deep breath and using language to shift your focus can have a profound effect on your life.
When self-doubt starts to rear its ugly head, and you find yourself questioning and second-guessing not only your choices, but who you are, these are some affirmations that can remind you of yourself and your worth.
I don’t have to be anyone but myself. Who I am is enough.
I am worthy of love. There is nothing that can change that. I was born worthy.
I complete me. I am whole.
When you’ve made a mistake or are coming up against challenges, and feel as though it may be more than you can handle, these reminders can help you put things in perspective.
I celebrate my victories and embrace my failures as opportunities to learn and grow.
I embrace change and acknowledge it as a gift.
When you feel as though you need to reclaim control over your life, and you need to remind yourself of your strength, you can try using these statements to empower yourself.
I am the author of my story.
I embrace my truth.
And if all else fails, there is perhaps no better affirmation than this one (adapted from a poem by the brilliant self-love ambassador Alex Elle):
I love myself always, all ways.
This article is part of our Money series, focusing on both the hard currency and our feelings of self-worth. Read more articles in the Money series.