Content And Community For Black Moms

The pandemic told us to go sit down somewhere. And it’s giving us the opportunity to get clear on what we want and need.

After COVID-19 hit in March 2020, I gave the quarantine a name: “The Great Pause.” It brought with it a great deal of fear and uncertainty. This interruption to our busy schedules shook many of us. It reminded me of one of my favorite lines from HBO’s Game of Thrones:

“Chaos isn’t a pit. Chaos is a ladder.” 

What we once relied on for safety or comfort has unravelled. But maybe that’s a good thing. What if this chaotic season is actually an opportunity

My life was on autopilot before March 13, 2020. Although I practiced my “miracle morning” daily—early morning meditation, affirmations, yoga, reading—everything else was a blur. I’d rush my 5-year-old daughter on a 30-minute drive to school and back twice a day. I’d squeeze in my work and workouts in between morning and mid-afternoon pick ups. 

By Wednesday, I. Was. Tired. 

By Friday, I was done, and constantly wished the weekends would last longer. 

Who are you when you’re uncomfortable? 

When we got the final email that schools would be closed, I was secretly happy and breathed a sigh of relief. No more driving in all that traffic, rain, and chaos. 

I slept in for about a week, happy to do NOTHING. But I was uncomfortable with this abrupt change in the world, and didn’t know where to turn. I made the choice to stay consistent with my miracle morning practice. In the midst of uncertainty this kept me grounded, and ultimately brought me the certainty I was looking for but hadn’t found. 

I suddenly felt the urge to serve, so from March to June I offered free live meditations on Facebook and Instagram. Showing up consistently taught me to trust my instinct as opposed to questioning or hesitating. By early August, I received a six-figure offer to record a new music project! (No, the executives didn’t reach out to me—I reached out to them and asked for exactly what I wanted—and got it!) 

Who are you when you’re uncomfortable? 

For me, being uncomfortable gave me an opportunity to reconnect, remind, and reignite to Self. You’ll always be guided and get the answers you’re seeking—no matter the circumstances—when you’re connected to yourself. 

Now that the pandemic is almost a year old, I think it’s time for all of us to do those three Rs again and find the opportunity in the chaos. 

Reconnect: Check in with yourself. 

Literally talk to yourself. (It’s fine. No one will know.) 

Ask yourself how are you doing? How do you feel in this exact moment? Like, for real. It’s time to be really honest with ourselves. Who am I? What do I really desire for myself? 

Breathe, acknowledge your feelings, and write. It. Down. I purchased some large post-its, wrote my goals, added pictures and stuck them on my wall so I can see them everyday. I had to! If I am to be this greater version of myself, I need accountability.

Remind: Remember your vision.

I help ambitious moms who’ve put their dreams on the backburner clarify their vision, step into their power, and take action towards their soul purpose.

What is the cost of NOT honoring your vision or starting now? What would you do if you didn’t hold this role in your family?

Write it down, and then write out your ideal reality. Be as fantastical as possible and try not to edit yourself! This process invites that feeling—the feeling of possibility, the feeling of shouting “YES” to yourself—back into your heart space. The excitement of it all reminds you of YOU, your purpose, your value, and puts you on a trajectory of actually beginning or finishing your soul assignment.

Reignite: Get back to old habits and hobbies.

We are experiencing a massive reset, a global shift in consciousness. But we’re also in a space to experience new possibilities.

What have you put on the backburner? What keeps you up at night and nudges you during the day? What leisure activities absolutely light you up? You know it’s there. You actually get irritated because you wish it would go away. 

“I don’t have time,” you say to yourself. You say it enough times that you actually start to believe it. Well, it’s a lie. Try taking a moment and CHOOSE not to be distracted (i.e phones, kids, partner, friends, Netflix). I know it’s challenging, but try it. 

Then go somewhere quiet for… Let’s start with 15 minutes. Connect with the whisper you wish would go away. This time, see it, say it out loud, then write it down so you can see it. Look at it real good. Let it settle into your heart space and smile. You have just planted the seed. Smile again and try this daily because you are powerful and on your way to the grandest version of YOU. 

…Now is the time to take imperfect action.

Tap into ideas, dreams, gifts, skills, and goals you’ve shelved in the past, the talents you’ve put on hold because there weren’t enough hours in the day. 

Scared as shit and uncertain of how to change? Well, now is the time to take imperfect action. Taking imperfect action invites inspiration. Inspiration cannot and will not join “nothing.” When you start moving—and that includes moving uncertain or scared—other pieces, people, and circumstances will begin to show up. There are always signs to keep going. The pieces will eventually come together.

Our children also benefit from seeing us doing what we love. Seeing us joyful, happy, and creative gives them permission to be the same. Since I’ve been writing and recording new music, I’ve invited my daughter into my process. Sometimes she comes to the studio with me and sees how I create music. Now, I find her practicing on her piano and guitar more, or randomly writing and singing her own songs when she thinks I’m not listening. Everyone around us benefits when we do what brings us joy. 

It is our nature to rebound. Reigniting, reminding, and reconnecting to Self gives us the appetite to try new things, trust the process, and see new opportunities emerge. Old ways, self-deprecating thoughts, and dated beliefs are of yesteryear. We are clear that those habits no longer serve us or have value. We cannot afford to continue holding them close. 

We have all been challenged deeply and yet we are still here. We are still. Here. Deeper in our faith, deeper in our gratitude, and deeper in our purpose and self-knowledge.

In 2021, we can collectively exhale. Go ahead, exhale.

You, me, we deserve it.

Hear Tori talk more about making time for you in the video below.

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Tori J. Jones is a mom, entrepreneur, songwriter and author. Tori also has a passion for helping moms stay connected and accountable to their YES! She helps guide and support moms in ways that allow them to navigate from clutter to clarity—and from uncertainty to the START—as an accountability coach. You can book a 20-minute clarity call with her and follow her on Instagram.

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