I have been guilty on more than one occasion of staying in a situation that I shouldn’t have—a relationship (platonic or romantic), a job, a city—because of fear. Even when certain situations were no longer serving me, I stayed because, I reasoned with myself, at least I knew what I was going to get. What if I jumped out of my comfort zone and it was horrible?
In 2016, I decided to become more intentional with practicing mindfulness, which has forced me to become aware of the areas where I’m moving forward, and the areas where I’m stagnant. Unfortunately, when I looked around at my life recently, I realized that not much had changed, even with all the beautiful images on my vision board and all of my well-thought out goals for the year.
I realized I had to act, even if I was scared and unsure of the outcome. I had to choose to show up for myself and live my values. For me, living my values means surrounding myself with supportive and encouraging people; ensuring that my time, money, and actions reflect my goals; feeling the fear, and deciding to do something anyway; and remembering that I am always enough.
I realized I had to act, even if I was scared and unsure of the outcome.
Some days I hit all my targets. I wake up and basically slay all day long. But on the days that I miss the mark, my very well-trained negative self-talk is all too ready to wag a finger at all my shortcomings. My negative self-talk is a mean girl and she walks me right back into my fear corner.
I’ve learned to combat my negative self-talk with journaling. I have a conversation with myself on paper, writing out what the issue is and why I’m reacting / feeling triggered. (No negative, mean, or judgmental thoughts are allowed in this session.) I reflect on it for a bit and usually uncover the true issue without my ego interfering, and write that down. Then I write out all the worst-case scenarios to the issue and then what I would do if they happened. This practice—inspired by Jess Lively and her intuition tips—really helps me tame my negative self-talk and anxiety, and helps me move toward manifesting my goals. It helps me rationally deal with my feelings, accept what is, and go from there
After a couple of rounds of that reflective questioning practice, I feel empowered because I become more in tune with myself and my weaknesses, strengths, and fears. It’s easier to identify wins, obstacles, and opportunities, too. More importantly, I’m armed with a plan to move forward. I have demonstrated to myself that no matter what happens, I am prepared to move forward and grow better.
We’re still in the first half of 2016. It’s time to accept what is and take responsibility for the choices you’ve made so far and move forward.
We have another six months left in 2016. How will you make them great?